What do you say when someone loses a horse?
Use the horse's name, say one specific thing you remember about them, and resist the urge to look for a silver lining.
There’s no correct sentence, and anyone offering you one is guessing. What follows is only what tends to land better, from people who have been on the receiving end of it.
Use the horse’s name. “I'm so sorry about Bramble” does more than “sorry for your loss”, because it says the horse was a particular animal rather than a category. Say one specific thing you remember — how he was at a gate, what she was like to hack out with, the thing he did that nobody else’s horse did.
Two things to avoid. Anything beginning “at least”, which asks the person to feel better on your schedule. And “you can always get another”, which is heard as a suggestion the horse was replaceable. If you’re close enough, offering a specific practical thing — mucking out, a lift, feeding the field-mate — is worth more than any wording.
If the practical side is what they are facing next, what happens after a horse dies and what to do with the passport are both written for that week rather than for a search engine.
If you’re sending something with the card, our memorial prints are made to order with the horse’s name.
Written by Craig Fearn, Stable & Hoof. Last updated .
Questions, answered
What should you not say when someone loses a horse?
Is it better to say nothing than the wrong thing?
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